College Excitement

Well, with work and all of this college excitement I am finding it hard to find time just for myself... so now that I have some alone time I will write a quick little update on life at the moment. Then I'm going to bed, because pretty soon I will have a hard time going to bed at a decent time (I am so excited though!) :)  

1. Tomorrow is my last day of work, but to end with a bang, I will be putting in 10 hours instead of my usual 9. Can't wait to wake up at 5:30!

2. I had one of my first "college experiences" last night. I went to a club downtown for the first time. It was quite fun. 

3. Saying goodbye to friends is harder than I thought it would be. Some of them I've gone to school with since preschool, and now we won't even be in the same part of the state or country anymore. I get a little choked up saying goodbye to them. I am ready to leave, but it's just weird that they won't be with me anymore.

4. I move into my dorm on monday... I cannot wait to meet new people as well as to have a change in life. I liked high school, but it was definitely time to move on. 

There you go, short and sweet. If I can figure out the picture stuff on here, I'll put some up of my dorm and things once I move in...

 

A Need for Joy

I'm sorry, but I am going to vent a little. Today happened to be one of those days where I felt I could do nothing right. I felt as if I was letting people down, I wasn't and am never fast enough, I make dumb mistakes and ask stupid questions, and so on. This feeling happens to me so often, especially when I want to please people. And I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being a people pleaser. I'm sick of not being confident in myself. I am sick of always trying to be PERFECT. Who says that I have to be? Who says there is a certain way of living and I should follow it? 

I AM NOT PERFECT. There. I said it. And I'm proud of it. 

And I want to be joyful in the fact that I'm not perfect. Yes, joyful. That's something that is lacking in my life. Sure, I'm a happy person and all, but at the moment, there is not a deep joy in me and that makes me sad. Why should I not be joyful? I have so many great things in my life, and I have a God who loves me for ME. How can I not be joyful in that? Why do I more often than not see the negative things in life? I really want to blame our society, and I think it definitely play a huge part in influencing everyone, so I will. Society has taken away the joy that is possible in me because I see what I "should" be and am disgusted with myself when I am not, and instead of saying that's ok, because I belong to God, I give into society and fool myself to think that if I can meet their standards, I can be given that joy. 

This honestly is more a guess as to why I have a lack of joy, because really, I don't know. And I don't know how to fix the problem, so I've decided the best thing to do is pray. I am going to pray that joyfulness would take the place of my worries, fears and anxieties because that is all I can think to do at the moment. 

 

Romans 15:13

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Experiences and Memories

Well, I've been a little behind on my "technology" these past couple of weeks. I've been traveling a lot and my ability to keep up with my facebook, email, text messages, phone calls, and now my blog has been not so great. I know pretty much everyone has to keep up with these things on a daily basis, and I should be able to do the same, but you are quite limited when you are staying in a Motel 6 with no internet access. 

I ended up visiting New York to work at a farm show this past week with my Dad and brother Drew. I just bought my MacBook Pro, printer, and iPod, so I'm kind of broke and in need of making as much money as I can. Plus I thought it would be fun to see what these farm shows are really like that my dad always talks about. We left last week sunday and arrived at our Motel 6 in Geneva at about 1:00 am. The next day was spent setting up for the show and the other days Drew and I blew up balloons for all of the kids that came to our booth as well as explored all of the other booths. I even ended up driving some tractors! While I was there, I learned how to really live like a farmer. It was unbelievably muddy, hot, and humid outside, and when we arrived at our motel at the end of the day, it wasn't necessarily clean (yes, there was a dead ant in our supposedly clean, new towels). I had to give up my well-nurtured, city sense of hygiene and take pride in the mud and sweat of the country life. My dad was so proud.  

Friday we arrived home at 4:00 am so I could babysit at 10:00. That afternoon I got ready to do some lively swing dancing downtown with my friends. My Aunt Hett had just arrived at my Grandma's house and I quick stopped over to say hello. All dressed up in my swing dancing attire (a dress with spaghetti straps) Aunt Hett asked if I was wearing a bathing suit. I tried very hard not to laugh. And then I was asked if the swing dancing I was going to was with a Christian Organization. Again, I tried not to laugh (apparently they were teasing when they asked... ha). After a good night of dancing and watching an old black and white film downtown, we camped out in my friend's backyard... a last hurrah for some who are going away to college in the next couple of days. 

It has been a busy couple of weeks, but it has been a good couple of weeks. Lots of good experiences and memories before I take off for college, and I can't wait to start creating those experiences and memories there either.